Holding Back
by Takianna
Summary: AU story about Obi-wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker and their relationship post AOTC. Could be implied slash in much later chapters.
1. What I Want

**-What I Want-**

**Chapter 1**

Obi-wan Kenobi, jedi master, sat on the edge of his padawan's bed, tired and too sore to really move. He was still limping around thanks to Dooku and the brilliant swordsmanship the man had used to take him out of the fight. He was fine though. He was not suffering as Anakin was at the moment.

Obi-wan had been released two days previous. As master and apprentice, Anakin and Obi-wan even shared a room in the medical wing of the temple because they had been both been injured enough to require medical treatment. As Obi-wan had peered over at his padawan laying in the bed next to him, he could see the tears rolling down the boy's cheeks. _It's okay, Anakin_ was all the older man could think to say, across the space between them, unable to rise from his bed to comfort the boy due to his own pain.

Was it really though? Obi-wan was sure the pain was overwhelming. The boy didn't even have a hand anymore and the stump left behind was a charred mess. He winced at the picture brought to his mind of the flesh that had remained and the pain that he knew Anakin was experiencing although he was sure that they were giving the boy plenty of sedatives to keep him comfortable even in his current state.

Obi-wan had to shut himself off from his padawan's pain in the force because it was far to overpowering and tore him away from his own healing, which took concentration to complete. This was the one time that Obi-wan had to be selfish, or he would never be able to help Anakin through the coming months of rehabilitation. _Fix yourself first and then Anakin will need you, _he had thought when confronted with the matter.

When Obi-wan had been discharged, Anakin refused to look him in the eyes. He peered at the wall of the room as if the sterile white was somehow more interesting then his own master's face trying to reassure him. Obi-wan's heart sank to his feet at the defeat the boy radiated. There was no way that Anakin could've defeated the much more experienced former jedi, Dooku. Obi-wan should've been there and not lying on the floor languishing in his misery, should've stopped the boy from acting so rashly when confronted with the Sith. Shaking his head in disgust at himself, Obi-wan reached for Anakin's shoulder, but the boy pulled away making it clear he was upset.

_Can I bring you anything from your room? _Obi-wan had asked in a pathetic whisper. Not the strong master that he normally found himself to be in these situations. Maybe it was because it had never been his padawan in the bed. It had always been someone else's. It was much easier to console another master then yourself. Why did he feel so inadequate, when he knew that Anakin was almost like his flesh and blood? It dawned on Obi-wan then that he was hurting because Anakin _was_ his flesh and blood. His child, although not by name and not by genetics. Someone that he had raised from childhood and nurtured through the hard times in life was now hurting so profusely, that he didn't know how to make him better.

_I wish I could take your pain._ Obi-wan had wanted to say because he really did mean it, but his throat closed at the idea of saying another word to someone who didn't want to hear his words. The room seemed to echo with the failure which his padawan felt. Anakin had thought that he was stronger, more able, but it turned out that just like Obi-wan, he could not take the Sith down.

_My pillow and the music box._ Anakin had spoken curtly, the words were a mixture of pure hatred and self-loathing. It made Obi-wan cringe at the sound of his voice. So the jedi had nodded and turned to leave, but something was keeping him from actually leaving. An unspoken question he wanted to ask.

_I don't blame you_ was all that Anakin had said before the door had opened and Obi-wan went to step out. Although the words had come from the boy's own mouth, Obi-wan didn't believe that they were the truth. It was easy to see that his padawan was unable to forgive Obi-wan for the fight although he claimed to. For not always having his back when the chips were down and for his injury.

_Thank you_, was all the master could bring himself to say, his voice tightened by the tears he felt he couldn't shed. And then he left Anakin with what he wanted, loneliness.

Now Obi-wan stood, still a little unsteady on his own feet, and gathered the two items Anakin had requested that he bring. A pillow, that was almost in tatters, but was the one that Anakin had slept with since he was nine years old and a music box, which was Obi-wan's. It was the only thing that his real parents had given him, other then the life of a jedi. Although jedi were not allowed such frivolous possession, Obi-wan had managed to find the trinket when he was a padawan and had liberated it from it's captivity in a storage room of the Temple.

Anakin liked the music box and had listened to it during the night when he had nightmares as a child. It seemed to soothe him and when Anakin was older, Obi-wan heard the gentle tones of the music box many times during night indicating the boy's need of comfort. He wasn't sure what had weighed on Anakin's mind during those times, but the music box had seemed to quell any anxious feelings that the boy had been experiencing.

Rubbing his thumb absently over the deep carvings on the oval shaped top of the box, Obi-wan wished for a connection with his family. Anakin was all the family he really had and with the young boy hurting in such a way, it would've been nice to have a little advice from someone who cared so much about a son. Obi-wan grimaced at the thought.

_You are too attached to the boy_. Mace Windu's voice echoed through his head. _I am not. He needs me. He needs me to make sure that the fire that rages in his soul, which we've both felt, doesn't consume the person that we know he can be. The Chosen One. He will not leave us in darkness._

Obi-wan didn't know how much he had believed the words that poured from his mouth on that day as he stood in front of the Korun master, but now he knew that Anakin was the savior that the jedi had been waiting for all these years. It was the amazing flair the boy had for skirting the rules, but still truly remaining a jedi. It was the balance that prophecy talked about, Obi-wan knew it deep in his heart. The other masters just hadn't realized it yet.

"Master Kenobi," the commlink in the apartment chirped. "MASTER KENOBI!"

Obi-wan raced from Anakin's room towards the comm station, noting the panic in the voice on the other end. He slapped the button hard with his hand.

"Yes?" he asked a little out of breath because running with such injuries was quite difficult, even if he was mostly healed.

"Medical wing NOW!" was all the other voice said before clicking off.

What had happened? Bile rose in his throat threatening to spill from his mouth as he thought about the panic on the other end of the commlink. _Where was Anakin? Was he still alive?_ Reaching out through the force he felt for the boy. They had always had a bond like no other master and padawan. This wasn't just the normal training bond that most masters and padawans used, it was so much more. Living inside each other's minds and now all he could feel was blind rage. Rage directed at no one and everyone at one time. Anakin was in trouble.


	2. Who I Am

**-Who I Am- **

**Chapter 2**

Obi-wan ran to the medical wing, his heart racing in his chest thumping harder than he remembered being possible. He barely missed the doors as they slid apart to admit him to the sterile hospital wing. The room was light and bright white, as most medical facilities tended to be, but Obi-wan felt like dread was lurking in every shadow, just looking for a chance to pounce on Obi-wan and claim him as it's own pet. He wanted to shudder, but he wouldn't let his body admit to the fear he felt creeping into his mind. He was stronger in the light and the darkness would be held at bay by him, if it was the last thing he did as a jedi.

Standing over a viewing screen was a small Rodian who's name escaped Obi-wan. He knew that she had been one of the doctors who had treated Anakin in the short time that the master had shared a room with his padawan. He even remembered seeing the doctor coming and going from their room. His mind felt so foggy. His brain knew that the name was there, but because of the rage which poured through the force from Anakin's end and washed over him, his brain was unable to come close to retrieving the name.

"Master Kenobi," the Rodian finally greeted him, after what seemed like an eternity, as she turned from the video screen. _She._ Obi-wan knew that it was a female name, but still nothing came to his lips.

"Doctor," he said not committing to a name because he didn't want to embarrass himself with fumbling to secure the name. Always the negotiator, he knew how to get around situations that might turn out a little uncomfortable for all involved. He knew how to be very diplomatic, even if he hated politicians down to the core of his being.

She eyed him rather strangely, her eyes stricken with fear. Fear of something or someone that she had just been watching on the viewscreen. _Oh gods Anakin, what have you done? _The older jedi stepped closer to the doctor trying to look over her shoulder at what she had been watching, but she had either blacked the screen or it was no longer in working order. He couldn't see anything going on in the room where Anakin was seething with rage.

"What is it, Doctor?" Obi-wan's voice trembled under the weight of the words he wanted to speak. _What has my padawan done to make you so scared?_ He couldn't bring himself to think of the atrocities that the padawan might commit when he was in such a state of pure rage.

Rage always blinded you to the truth. Obi-wan knew, he had felt so much rage against Darth Maul for taking his master's life while he watched, unable to help. It had taken him many months to even be able to start meditating again for fear of the way the rage made the force more powerful and would the light ever be good enough again for him.

_This is not about you Kenobi, focus on Anakin, _his mind nagged as his eyes focused again on the Rodian's pale face.

"DOCTOR!" Obi-wan raised his voice trying to snap the green alien from the fearful gaze she held on the wall just over his shoulder. Her eyes were defocused as if she were somewhere else. If this matter was as urgent as she had made it seem when she had signaled him on the commlink, then he needed information about what his padawan was doing in that room.

"There is a nurse trapped in there with him," she said in a quiet tone which sounded like a leaking of air around a high pressure seal. "Your padawan has decided that he doesn't want to be sedated anymore."

_Not sedated..._then he would feel the pain.

Obi-wan shook his head not wanting to believe what she had said. His eyes began to water at the thought of the pain which must be coursing through the boys veins. It explained the rage. Hurting made Anakin rage against whoever and whatever was near him. Obi-wan himself had been the victim of many punching and slapping attacks when Anakin was a child. The boy had always been unable to deal with the pain in a healthy way like releasing it to the force. Although as his master, Obi-wan had tried until he was blue in the face to convince Anakin that it was the best thing he could do for himself and those around him. Especially those who were his victims time and again.

Obi-wan said nothing and ran to the door that he knew Anakin was behind. Pushing the release on the door, Obi-wan shed his robe and took a fighting stance. If Anakin was going to come out swinging, then he wanted to be ready so that other people and the boy didn't get hurt in the flailing of arms and legs.

As the door opened, Obi-wan was greeted, surprisingly, by Anakin towering over a Twilek nurse who was cowering in the corner. He held a metal tray high above his head and when he saw who came in the door, the padawan pitched the tray against the far wall. The metal against duracreet screamed out in a high pitched groan. It was over in mere seconds, but the sound rang through the small room.

"Well look who's here," Anakin sneered in the direction of Obi-wan. "Here to save the day again, _**master**_?"

Obi-wan entered the room calmly and allowed the calmness of his force signature to radiate from his body in hopes of bringing some calm to Anakin. As he approached where the nurse was cowering, Anakin gave him a wide berth trying to stay out of the light. Obi-wan helped her from the floor and pushed her towards the door, begging her with his eyes to get out of the room. She slipped out the door and it shut behind her with a hiss.

He wasn't sure if the hiss came from the door or his lungs expelling air as Anakin planted a kick to his chest. Obi-wan was pushed towards the wall and fell against it with a rather larger bang then he thought possible. He righted himself on his feet and then prepared for another attack. Anakin usually was one to continue with an attack, even if he wasn't sure that the would win. _Keep them off balance with multiple attacks_, Anakin had always said during their many sparring sessions.

"You have to be sedated," Obi-wan cooed calmly to Anakin as the boy reared his good hand up for a punch. To Obi-wan's advantage, Anakin had never been great with his left hand and he easily dodged the punch. Anakin's hand scraped against the wall just behind Obi-wan's ducking head.

"I WON'T!" Anakin said trying to cradle his good hand against his chest with the bandaged stump of his right hand.

"If you want your hand returned to it's normal state, you have to let them do this."

Anakin stopped and if he could've killed Obi-wan with merely his eyes, he would've succeeded in that very moment. The hate that Obi-wan saw there was nothing like he'd ever experienced from the boy before and he felt a chill creeping from his legs and up his spine. Anakin's eyes swirled in a pattern of gold and red, but there was recognition behind them as if the dawn was breaking inside of Anakin's mind. The blue hews of the boy's natural eyes started to return. The master let out the breath that he didn't know that he'd been holding during the tense moment. The tension in the room started to ease and finally Obi-wan tried a smile to comfort the boy.

He approached Anakin like he was a caged animal that was ready to pounce at any time and reached out to touch him in the middle of the chest, his hand brushing against the boy's cheek before planting over his heart. Obi-wan started to breathe in and out trying to get Anakin to mimic the rhythm. The technique was older, but many jedi still used it to calm each other in the heat of anxious moments.

"Calm you heart," Obi-wan said closing his eyes in hopes that Anakin would follow his lead. This was something they did often when Anakin was anxious about an aspect of his life that he couldn't control. It was their way of finding the center for their meditation together. Anakin's left hand reached across the gap and rested on Obi-wan's chest. The touch of his padawan was warm and familiar. Their breathing began to sync up and Obi-wan finally opened his eyes to regard his padawan who was a mere arm's distance away.

The boy looked peaceful now, at rest. Not the person who had greeted Obi-wan when he had opened the door to the room. _See he needs you_, Obi-wan thought to himself keeping the shields of his mind tight so that Anakin could not read what he was thinking. Not that the padawan pried, but the bond between the two was so close that sometimes things Obi-wan didn't want Anakin to know, were transmitted as if he shouted them from the mountain tops of Naboo.

"Better, master," Anakin said sighing as if letting the whole world off of his shoulders. His eyes remained closed as he continued to breathe in concert with Obi-wan. They stood in this position for what seemed like hours, but Obi-wan was sure that it was mere minutes.

"Why don't you want to be sedated?" Obi-wan finally asked, approaching the subject with a calmness that only he could have around Anakin. He had a special way of handling his padawan. One that coaxed out the best in Anakin and steered him clear of the emotions that he was so prone to.

"Dreams," Anakin muttered, his eyes never opening, his hand remaining on Obi-wan's chest over his heart.

They had plagued him for so long, that Obi-wan didn't even think twice when it was the answer to the problems Anakin was having.

_Dreams pass in time_, he had said previously to calm the boy, but now it didn't seem appropriate to respond this way. Obi-wan knew that Anakin's mother had died. The boy had known she was suffering through the dreams he had been having about her. It was a gift of the force to him. The ability to see the future or not too distant future. The force gifted everyone differently. Sometimes it could feel like the gift was cursing you at every turn though.

"You should rest," Obi-wan urged with his voice and through their bond. Healing took a lot from the body and Anakin needed all the rest he could get. The boy looked pale and as though he hadn't slept in days. There were large black circles under his bloodshot eyes. Anakin's hand had begun to shake as it pressed against Obi-wan's chest.

"I – I...." Anakin's voice trailed off into a strangled sob.

Obi-wan ceased being Anakin's master , letting the boy's need drive him and pulled the boy into a tight embrace. Anakin's head tucked neatly under Obi-wan's. The sobs racked his body again and again. They sank to the floor of the room in a tight embrace. Obi-wan wanted to protect the boy, even from the thoughts he was having about his ability to continue as jedi. Because Obi-wan knew that this is what it was about and the dreams were about the events from the dual with Count Dooku.

Smoothing a hand over the boy's short padawan haircut, Obi-wan soothed Anakin like he had when Anakin had been nine years old. The touch of a loving adult, similar to that of his mother's, always brought peace to him as a child. Obi-wan's hand rested easily on Anakin's back, pulling him even closer to the master's chest as the sobs began to subside.

"You will be a jedi for the rest of your life, missing a limb or not," Obi-wan spoke softly rubbing his cheek against the boy's. Anakin's head bobbed up and down in an affirmative nod. No matter what happened, Anakin was the Chosen One, Obi-wan had to believe it because Qui-gon had believed it. Qui-gon had to have been right.

_I will train him master._ The bitter promise he had made Qui-gon resounded through Obi-wan's mind.


	3. Where I Will Go

**Thanks to all my great readers. I'm glad that you are sticking around, although I'm not the best at updating quickly. I hope you stick around and read where I want to take these too. Thanks again and happy reading!**

**-Where I Will Go - **

**Chapter 3**

Obi-wan was roused from his sleep by a string of Huttese swears that would've made even the most seasoned crime lord blush. He shook his head and tried to clear the fog of sleep from his mind as his feet swung over the edge of the bed. Pausing, he waited to see if there was a need for him to go out to the main living area. It must have been the middle of the night, as far as Obi-wan could tell.

Anakin had been home for a couple days and had become tired of Obi-wan babying him. The replacement hand that he had been given was not a permanent one, as of yet, and Anakin was supposed to be learning how to make it work. Unfortunately Anakin was having a rather difficult time with grip and not breaking everything in the kitchen of their shared rooms. On cue, Obi-wan heard the sound of pottery against tile once again and was rewarded with yet another string curses, this time in Basic. Well at least he was progressing in his ability to use language.

He didn't want to rush to Anakin's aid. The more he did, the more his padawan looked as though he hated every last cell of Obi-wan's existence. The doctors had said that he would want space and that he would need to do things on his own again. It was just part of the healing and grieving process. And Obi-wan knew that Anakin was grieving for what he had lost in the battle with Dooku. Obi-wan had to stand back and let him fail so that he could pick himself up again. It was the hardest thing he had ever done.

To let what was essentially your child, fail so many times was something that Obi-wan found rather heartbreaking. He wanted to take care of Anakin and make sure that he was okay. Comfort him at every turn and show him that things would be the same again. That he would be whole. Everyone told him to do otherwise and the master felt as though he was failing at being what Anakin needed. They didn't know how he clung to Obi-wan as he had his mother and now he had failed to protect him against Dooku and was now failing at helping him to recover from a wound that he was inevitably responsible for, or at least thought he was responsible for.

Obi-wan opened his door and padded down the hallway in his bare feet trying not to make a sound. He stopped when he saw Anakin in the small kitchen picking up pieces of broken cup with his left hand. He was a right handed and Obi-wan noted how awkwardly he used his left. Although most jedi were able to use both hands in combat, they still favored one or the other. It helped with fighting styles.

"Aren't you supposed to be using your right hand?" Obi-wan asked emerging from a shadow in the hallway. Anakin looked up at him with eyes that looked as though they hadn't slept in days. His padawan looked gaunt and restless.

"Yes master," Anakin said switching to the golden robotic hand that replaced the real flesh and blood hand that had been there only weeks before.

"I don't want to pressure you."

Anakin screwed up his face with a sour look and then went back to picking up the pieces. Obi-wan walked towards the kitchenette and started to help. He shuffled several pieces into his hand and then stopped when he felt Anakin's eyes boring into him.

"You aren't supposed to be helping me either," Anakin reminded him sounding a little upset. _"I can do __this, master."_

It wasn't that Obi-wan doubted his ability. In fact, Anakin was able to do almost anything that he put his mind to and had a little time to figure out.

Anakin had a knack for being able to pick up fighting styles rather quickly, as he had proved when he was merely ten years old and copied Master Windu's Vaapad fighting style almost move for move. That had gotten Obi-wan several distressed looks from the older master, but he had merely explained that Anakin was good at mimicking another person's style. What Master Windu didn't know was that Anakin could then use the styles that he copied to his advantage when fighting with other padawans. There had been many lectures from Obi-wan about not using Vaapad to best those in the padawan class.

"I know you can do it," Obi-wan said putting the pieces back on the counter and sighing a long and heavy sigh. "I never said that you couldn't. I have faith that if anyone has to have a cybertronic arm, it should be you because I know that you can make it work."

Obi-wan had a faith in Anakin that sometimes went too far to the extreme. It wasn't that Anakin was flawless. In fact, Anakin had been a very difficult padawan to handle in his early years. As he had grown to a teen, Obi-wan had found himself getting the boy out of trouble that he just lived to find. It was a good thing that the master had a good heart or he would've died of a heart attack many years ago.

"Then stop treating me like I'm a nine-year-old," Anakin said and his voice caught.

"I didn't realize....." Obi-wan started and then placed a hand on Anakin's upper arm trying to comfort him. The younger man recoiled slightly from the touch.

"This is hard. Harder then I thought it would ever be."

Obi-wan felt the weight of the room and the thickness of the air as Anakin spoke. There was such a burden on this boy and Obi-wan had to help him find his way from the darkened cloud which surrounded him.

"Tell me about it then," Obi-wan said sitting down on a small couch that faced where the kitchenette was located. He knew that if he could get the boy talking then perhaps things would get cleared up.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

"Because I...I don't want to blame you for what happened to me and I know I will."

Obi-wan looked at Anakin's eyes. They were filled with hurt. Hurt for what he held against his master and the things he wanted to say to him. It made Obi-wan want to break down, but he knew that he had to be strong. Anakin didn't mean this and he was just suffering from the trauma that he had gone through. Now was the time to set aside whatever selfishness he had and not let things hurt his feelings. This was therapy for Anakin.

"I know," Obi-wan said quietly. "I know that I should've done better to protect you against Dooku, but I also know that you should've waited for us to attack him together."

"I don't need a lecture, Obi-wan!" Anakin snapped and planted his hands firmly on the counter. He hung his head keeping his eyes from looking at Obi-wan.

"Okay," Obi-wan said rising from the couch and placing a hand on Anakin's back. "What do you need? Everything I do seems to be the wrong thing."

Anakin raised his eyes and looked into Obi-wan's. They were deep blue as always, but more troubled then he had ever seen them. Things inside of Anakin were spiraling out of control and he was losing the grip that he had on making a normal life. Anakin needed to get ahold of himself.

"We have to leave," Anakin finally said. "I need to get away from this planet and all the things here. I need rest and I need a chance to really feel the force."

Obi-wan nodded his head. He had already approached the council about leave for Anakin and himself. Although the war with the Separatists was in full swing, the council felt that having Anakin at peak performance was more important then sending the team into the war separately. Obi-wan and Anakin were stronger as a team then by themselves and the council knew it. They had been granted a month of leave once Anakin's permanent prosthetic limb was in place.

"I've already gotten us leave." The words were softly spoken and Obi-wan raised his eyebrows questioning and hoping this would not cause some sort of outbreak from his padawan.

Anakin's eyes were thankful and a smile spread across his face which was the reward to Obi-wan. He pulled Obi-wan into a hug of unabashed happiness. He almost squeezed his master too tightly, but a smile spread across Obi-wan's face as he felt the force grow bright again with Anakin's warm presence. The feeling washed over him like a warm wave on the beaches of Naboo.

"When?" Anakin asked burying his head in the crook of Obi-wan's neck. A sign of affection from the time Anakin had been a child.

"As soon as you get a permanent hand," Obi-wan said stroking a hand over the short padawan cut of Anakin's hair. He stopped at the padawan braid and tugged.

"OUCH!" Anakin feigned pain and pulled away from Obi-wan.

Obi-wan just smiled and began helping Anakin with the pieces of the plate he had broken. This time there was no protesting from his padawan.


	4. Here I Am

**I would just like to thank those that keep reading and visiting this story. I'm having a GREAT time writing it. Thanks for being patient for me to update. I have a crazy work schedule and sometimes the ideas don't come to me very quickly and I need some time to get things all sorted out. Happy reading!**

**- Here I Am - **

**Chapter 4**

The breeze blew through Obi-wan Kenobi's auburn hair as he stared out at the trees, which grew thickly on the Sanctuary Moon, bathed in twilight. The backwater planet was a nature preserve now, but out of special consideration, jedi were allowed to come here to commune with the force. It was thick in the trees and all the little creatures which dotted the surface of the planet. Obi-wan could feel them everywhere and it strengthened his awareness.

Watching, he saw the Wisties flying back and forth next to the tree top house where Obi-wan and his padawan were staying during their leave of absence. The fiery insects made large loops of incandescent light as they moved in large groups. It reminded him of the streaming cars on Coruscant, but without all the people.

"Beautiful aren't they?" Anakin's voice said softly from behind his left shoulder. Obi-wan had felt him come out onto the small wooden platform mere seconds before. A warm presence which made a small faint smile creep to Obi-wan's lips.

"Uh huh," Obi-wan said trying not to talk too loudly and scare the creatures away. He knew that they were sentient creatures who spoke a strange language of buzzes. He hoped that their talking wouldn't disturb the insects. They were somehow comforting and mesmerizing all at the same time.

Obi-wan waited for them to move further away and then turned to look at his padawan. They had just arrived the day before, but he could tell that Anakin was more at ease. His signature in the force was calm and strong. The plant life and animals seemed to strengthen his connection with the force as it did his master's. Obi-wan was glad that he was feeling better.

"Hand bothering you?" Obi-wan asked and indicated the two fingers Anakin pressed at the base of the new artificial hand he had been given only two days earlier.

"Nothing more than phantom pain."

The doctors had told Obi-wan that Anakin would experience phantom pain now and again. The nerves which had been reconnected would remember the pain which had taken the hand away. They also said that as time went on, Anakin wouldn't have it as often because the nerves would be rewired to the hand. He hoped they were right. Anakin seemed to be suffering more and more of the pain. Maybe it was more in his head now because of how the hand had been lost and the trauma he had undergone.

"Let me help," Obi-wan said and took the boy's right hand in his hand. He turned Anakin's arm over and pressed his index and middle finger on the junction of the elbow. There was a red mark there where Anakin had been pressing rather frequently. It seemed to be just the right spot to take the pain away.

"Better?"

Anakin shook his head yes and then let out a sigh as he looked out over the trees. There was a distance in the boy's eyes. He was somewhere else thinking about something else. Although calmed by the closeness of the force, Anakin still brooded. That, in actuality, was not unusual for Anakin.

"She's upset with me," Anakin said answering a question Obi-wan didn't even know he had asked. Although somewhere deep inside he knew that Anakin was answering what Obi-wan wanted to know about Senator Amidala.

They hadn't talked about it. It was the unspoken Bantha that was always in the room with them. The master knew that Anakin was infatuated, if not more, with the senator. He had been since he was nine years old. At first, Obi-wan had thought it no more than hero worship. She had been a queen and he had watched her as she stood up to the Trade Federation. It was very admirable and Anakin had been very impressionable. Over time it had changed. Anakin was older and more infatuated every second. Obi-wan had warned him that it was very dangerous to hold onto people this way, but he hadn't listened. Now the confirmation had come to Anakin's own lips. There was more going on.

"I know that you can sense that Senator Amidala means much more to me," Anakin said his head hanging under the weight of knowing that he had disappointed Obi-wan. "I never meant for any of it to happen. I just needed her and for things to seem more normal. I _**needed**_, how selfish do I sound?"

Obi-wan looked at Anakin. He was the same scared little boy who had made life interesting, to say the least, for the past several years. The fact that the scared boy never went away, was the most troubling of all to Obi-wan. He had hoped that years of training would've changed Anakin, made him more sure of himself, but it didn't happen. No matter how many times he had been encouraged, Anakin always dwelt on the things people perceived as his wrong doings.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want," Obi-wan said sympathetically. In fact, Anakin really didn't have to answer about his personal life unless it was causing a problem. The fact he brought it up made Obi-wan believe that there was a problem. _Let go, Anakin!_ He wanted to scream at the boy, but he kept his mouth shut and his fingers pressed firmly on the elbow letting Anakin express whatever was bothering him.

"I have to tell someone," the boy sighed with resignation that Obi-wan had never seen in him before. As though the world was finally catching up to that scared little boy.

The breeze kicked up again and there was a loud squawk from some kind of bird nearby. The nocturnal animals were coming out as the gas giant set over the horizon. Obi-wan watched as Anakin's padawan braid blew in the breeze, banging against his shoulder lightly.

"We had planned to marry. I encouraged her to have a secret marriage with me. She was against it at first saying that she didn't want to live a lie."

Obi-wan's eyes opened widely at the talk of marriage. Now was the time he had to step in. Stop Anakin from making a terrible mistake. Jedi couldn't have lives like others. There were things that they sacrificed for their abilities which the force gave them. Obi-wan knew all too well how much had to be sacrificed. Anakin knew too because all of this Obi-wan had told him a million times.

"Before you say it, I know that marriage is forbidden for a jedi. I came to my senses anyway. Who would want me? Who would want to be with me? I'm missing a hand, what good could I possibly be? I'm a jedi and how could I ever really be available to anyone?" Anakin said a catch in his voice as the sobs he had wanted to cry were pushed down yet again. "She deserved better and I told her as much. It wasn't what she wanted to hear and she blamed the fact that I lost an arm. She said I wasn't thinking."

Obi-wan was surprised. When had Anakin had time to see the senator? He had been with Obi-wan most of the time since his injury. Maybe she had come to visit him in the medical facility. Somewhere deep inside he felt a jealous streak start to brew. Breathing deeply, he pushed the feelings aside and let them go. Anakin was not his possession, but merely his padawan.

"You did what a jedi has to do," Obi-wan said quietly and released Anakin's hand. "These are the things we give away for being force sensitive and following the code."

"Could you give the code a rest?" Anakin asked with a huff of indignation. The code always made Anakin upset. It was Obi-wan's adherence that made it even worse for Anakin. It was hard to follow such an example, Obi-wan was sure.

"Don't you think we all give up things to be jedi?" Obi-wan asked and crossed his arms over his chest. This was a subject that Anakin and Obi-wan had never spoken of. It was an unwritten rule that masters didn't talk openly with padawans about these types of things. Anakin was more of a friend now then a padawan. Obi-wan felt completely comfortable talking to the young man which now stood in front of him.

"I know the pleasures of the flesh, padawan. I wanted all those things that most men crave. I wanted a family, children and a wife to share in my travels through life. I wanted a house and to know who my parents were, but it was just a fleeting moment."

Honesty was something Obi-wan always felt looked better from a certain point of view. To know that he was telling Anakin that he was truly human, felt good. There should be no secrets between them. Nothing that could jeopardize the relationship they had with each other. Complete trust was something which kept you alive when you were back to back with your lightsabers drawn.

"You?" Anakin asked a smile spreading across his face. "Well I think that makes you almost human, master."

Obi-wan chuckled. For many people, Obi-wan was the epitome of what a jedi should be. His patience was renowned and he knew enough about the force to be a very dangerous swordsman. Many believed that he had never once stepped out of line, but that was not true. He too had been a young man who had wanted the things others had and it was then that he made his choice. Just as the force had chosen him.

"But I wanted the things the jedi gave me more. I wanted to be a master and I wanted to sit on the council. I may not be the Chosen One, but I was chosen by the force to have this power. It would've been a terrible thing to waste what I had been given."

"To think that I always believed that you never stepped a toe out of line," Anakin said clamping his master on the shoulder. It was a jovial time for the both of them.

"If Qui-gon were here, he'd set you straight," Obi-wan said returning the gesture of friendship.


	5. I Am Free

**Thanks to everyone who continues to read! I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**I Am Free**

**Chapter 3**

Obi-wan rinsed the final dish in the sink and placed it on the rack to dry. He rinsed and dried his hands and peered out the small window which was located right above the sink. The sun was filtered through the mass of trees and drew patches of dark and light on the balcony of the treehouse. Anakin was stretched out on his back, laying on the wood, eyes closed and arms spread wide as though he were soaking in all the force had to offer. A smile parted his lips ever so slightly.

Obi-wan sighed contentedly. This was what being a jedi should be. Peaceful and calm, feeling what the force has to say to them. In this place it was effortless to feel what most jedi struggled to even get a glimpse of during their lives. Freedom. Freedom from the bindings of the flesh, no matter what the species. Obi-wan felt the freedom coursing through his veins. It made him calm and centered. The feeling was something he hadn't had for a very long time. Maybe since before Qui-gon had died.

Obi-wan stripped his outer tunic off and draped it over the chair to let the sleeves dry. His inner tunic was lighter material and hugged his chest. First he untied the outer tie and opened the flap then untied the inner laces. Slipping his arms from the shirt, he shucked it from his body, folded it and laid it on the table. The warm air caressed his skin and he could feel the warm breeze blowing from the open windows and against his bare skin.

Moving outside the small dwelling, Obi-wan padded across the small balcony and next to where Anakin was still laying, motionless, in the dappled light. They had both abandon wearing their jedi boots and utility belts, opting instead for more casual dress and demeanors. It was relaxing. Yet another form of freedom for Obi-wan.

"Mmmmm, it's warm," Anakin said with his eyes still closed, mouth barely moving. He had sensed his master's approach.

"Feels good," Obi-wan said kneeling down on the wooden planks which were warm to the touch.

"Still not as warm as home."

Obi-wan winced at the mention of home. For years, he had hoped that Anakin would consider the Temple home. To consider where his master was to be his true home. But Anakin had never left his mother behind truly and Obi-wan had merely been someone to fill her place while they were apart. No one would ever separate their hearts. Not even the jedi.

Obi-wan laid down too, his head near Anakin's feet. It felt good to be still and to be at one with the force. A smile parted his lips as he looked through the mass of leaves to see the blue sky beyond.

"How is the war going?" Anakin asked raising up on his elbows.

"Haven't read the reports for today."

Anakin and Obi-wan were not active yet, but they were both being kept up to date on the movements of the army. Obi-wan had poured over the daily military briefings and movements of the legions as they came in. He was especially keeping up with Torrent Company of the 501st, which would be Anakin's charge, and the 7th Sky Corps, which would be his charge. They were merely providing back up for other missions until the two generals rendezvoused with them. He was sure his commander was ready to get down to business and tired of waiting for two jedi to finish their vacations and join the war. There was sure to be some tension between the clones and the jedi because of it.

"Won't be long," his padawan said breaking him away from his thoughts, "until we are fighting."

"You make it sound like something you are excited about," Obi-wan said in a warning tone. Jedi shouldn't be so willing to lead groups of men to their slaughter and that is what this war was turning into. Obi-wan shivered at the thought of having to order so many to do things which he knew would turn out badly.

"War is nothing to take lightly. People will end up like me," Anakin said and raised his right hand indicating the loss of his hand. "And all the padawans who were lost at Genoesis."

Anakin's voice trailed off and Obi-wan rose on his elbows to meet his padawan's troubled eyes. They had both left so many people behind on that planet and it hurt them both. It brought sadness to the older jedi. Innocence was so easily lost in war and what kind of people would they be when they returned from the fighting?

"We won't win," Anakin finally sighed relinquishing any control over the matter. Somehow Anakin had managed to voice the fear most jedi were feeling, Obi-wan included.

"Sometimes we have to do what we think to be impossible," Obi-wan said quietly reciting the things he'd been told so many times before.

The words drifted between the two jedi and floated in the air. Anakin laid back down, the tension evident in his body. Obi-wan didn't know what to say. For once he felt as though he had no answers which would be good enough for his padawan. There were no answers good enough for any of the jedi. Everyone would be scarred and hurt from this war.

"Anakin," Obi-wan said and his voice trailed off. What could he say to comfort someone who was still suffering the trauma of losing a hand and the prospect of going to war all at the same time? These things were very difficult to come to terms with alone, but together they made a wall of things which were too hard to climb for anyone.

"What master?" Anakin's pressured voice came back, but his body made no motion of moving to look at Obi-wan. Maybe he didn't want to look into eyes that were supposed to hold all the answers, but held none of them.

"I'm not making light of anything we are about to do. You know me better than that. This is serious business, but I sense you are nervous," Obi-wan said honestly. "Has the force given you a vision?"

Obi-wan knew that Anakin was prone to premonitions in the form of dreams. It was the one thing that Anakin seemed to excel in. He could predict many things. _Dreams pass in time, _Obi-wan had said it many times, trying to make Anakin believe it and himself believe it more, but there were things that even the older jedi couldn't make happen for Anakin. Taking his dreams away were one of those things.

"I just ...," Anakin said flatly not committing to a yes or no answer.

There was a pregnant silence between them. Something was bothering Anakin and he didn't know how to tell his master. Obi-wan had always been a sounding board for Anakin and now he felt that he needed to take this burden and share it with the boy.

"I'm scared about going into battle."

It was now out in the open. Anakin's fear of going to war was born of the recent confrontation they had with Count Dooku. Gun shy is what they usually called it in fighters. Not wishing to put themselves back into the line of fire because of a traumatic experience. Obi-wan needed Anakin though even if it was selfish on his part. They were a team and worked much better together than apart. He needed to lean on Anakin and Anakin needed to lean on him.

"You're scared?" Obi-wan asked and moved down to where Anakin's head was and looked him in the eyes. "You have to talk about it with me. Together we can work it out."

"I don't know how...the dreams happen every night. You are there, I am there, but there is no way I can save you. Nothing I do will make you alright. You are dying in my arms and there is nothing that can be done about it. I'm soaked in your blood and I'm screaming for someone to help me...to help you."

Anakin began to sob. First the sounds were strangled in his throat as he tried to keep them from erupting, but the tears started down his face and he let go. Obi-wan, instinctively, scooped Anakin up in his arms, holding him like he had when he was a child. Anakin sobbed like a child letting the tears wet Obi-wan's bare skin.

"Nothing will happen to me Anakin," Obi-wan said stroking the younger man's hair. "I know that you wouldn't let me die."

"What if I can't prevent it?"

Obi-wan pulled away from Anakin and wiped a thumb under each eye letting the tears wet his thumb. Here was the boy he had raised, feeling so desperate that there was nothing he could do to save Obi-wan. Obi-wan didn't need to be saved. If the force believed it was his time to go, then he would go, just as Qui-gon had gone before him. It would be peaceful, but it didn't mean that it wouldn't be painful for those who were left behind. Obi-wan knew that first hand.

"If the force believes it's time for me to go, Anakin, then there is nothing you can do about it," Obi-wan confessed.

"NO!" Anakin said and shook his head. "I can do something about it. I can change it. It won't happen. I can't lose you, Obi-wan. I can't..."

"I always thought I couldn't either," Obi-wan said very seriously, "but time makes it easier. You don't forget those who have stamped themselves on your heart, but the wound does scab over a bit."


	6. I Am Vulnerable

**- I Am Vulnerable - **

The revelation Anakin had during the day weighed heavily on Obi-wan's mind as the sun set on the Sanctuary Moon. The dreams bothered Anakin, but the revelation of the situation bothered Obi-wan more. His fate, should he let his mind think about Anakin's ability with seeing the future, was sealed. The force would call him home at a time when it would be too much for his padawan to bear and would possibly break the fragile hold that Anakin had on his emotions.

Sleeping was out of the question and now Obi-wan was merely looking at the curtains on the small window above his bed, drifting in the breeze as though they didn't have a care in the world. Concentrating on their rhythm, he thought it would lull him to sleep, that had been almost two hours ago. The darkness was comforting right now as it veiled him from the light. It was quiet where he could spend some time with his thoughts. Although his thoughts always went back to what Anakin had confessed to him.

Obi-wan knew that he shouldn't feel this way. That he should be able to let things happen. The force willed many things to the jedi while letting them have amazing abilities. It wasn't easy to follow what it wanted all the time, but it was a life that he had vowed when he had been old enough to be knighted. Now acceptance was something he would just have to deal with in his mind. How could he assure Anakin that it was okay, if he didn't accept it himself?

From down the hall, he heard the sound of a familiar song coming from Anakin's room. The music box. It turned out Obi-wan was not the only one who couldn't sleep, the tinkling of the notes signifying that Anakin was awake as well and seeking comfort.

Quietly the jedi master rose from his bed and walked down the hall to the doorway of Anakin's sleeping quarters. The sound brought a sense of calm to Obi-wan. It was a peace he couldn't explain. It was as though the song knew him. An ancient song perhaps passed from one of his kind to another and somehow was encoded in his very DNA. Obi-wan felt as though every cell in his body was singing along to the music.

"I know you're out there," Anakin's weary voice came from the dark room drowning out the sound of the music box for an instant. Obi-wan didn't know that he had been leaning against the wall listening to the music box play. His heart was beating a mile a minute and he found himself breathless.

"Can't sleep either?" Obi-wan finally asked after a brief silence to catch his breath.

"Nope."

Obi-wan moved into the doorway holding onto either side and peering into the dark room. He could see Anakin hugging the pillow, the one he took everywhere, against his chest and the music box laying next to him. It continued to tinkle the song of generations. It was a sight Obi-wan had seen many times before, but something about this time was different. Anakin seemed more vulnerable then he ever had as a child.

Obi-wan's heart broke for the boy and it broke for himself.

The master jedi sat on the edge of the bed and sighed a tired sigh that was far beyond his years. It's what his heart was feeling. It seemed that all the struggles of the past few weeks were finally weighing on him and the impending entry into the war also weighed on him.

"Would it help if I told you I was scared?" he finally asked and looked at Anakin. Those blue eyes were the most troubled eyes he had ever recalled seeing. He held up a hand to stop a response from the padawan, right now he didn't want to debate the feelings of an old jedi.

"I'm scared for what it will do to you," Obi-wan clarified. "I'm being brutally honest with you because I know that you can handle it. I don't fear my end, but I fear what you will have to endure when I am gone."

They both knew that Obi-wan was the one thing keeping Anakin afloat in a dark sea that threatened to swallow him whole. Anakin had been told many times of this fact. It had always been against Obi-wan's wishes because he feared that his padawan would fulfill that prophecy of being dark because that was what was expected of him and that he would make no attempts to make the right choices so that he could continue to bask in the light.

Obi-wan reached out a laid a hand on Anakin's shoulder. A touch between two people who were the most important thing in each other's lives in this moment. A touch which meant so much to them both because now they shared the same physical realm, but soon Obi-wan may not be able to calm Anakin through a physical touch. Time and space would separate them. Obi-wan would be dead and it would be his padawan who would be left behind to pick up the pieces.

"Master," Anakin started, but Obi-wan stopped him. There was a time to protest, but here in the dark of the night, he couldn't let his ears hear the things that Anakin wanted to say. Obi-wan wanted there to be peace. Peace in his mind and in his soul.

"Let's just enjoy what time we have together," Obi-wan finally said and tried to smile. "I know that it will be fine. You will be fine because I've been there."

Obi-wan had seen his master cut down and didn't want that for Anakin, but if that was what the force willed, then it would be. The memory of eyes which cried out in pain and shock was something you didn't recover from easily. That was the kind of pain Obi-wan didn't want Anakin to have to carry with him.

"Master don't talk this way," Anakin said rising from his laying position to look at Obi-wan, their limbs entangled in each other's. "I won't let you go, I can't let you go."

"That is where you are wrong," he said tapping Anakin gently on the nose in a playful gesture. "You can let me go and you will when the time comes. I've trained you well and I know that you wouldn't let me down."

Anakin shook his head _"no" _and tried to stop his master talking. He reached up and placed his finger against his lips to stop the words from continuing from them. Obi-wan relented and closed his mouth, his eyes giving Anakin admonishment without a word escaping him. He always had a way to do that to Anakin, although he didn't always have to try very hard to admonish Anakin. It was something that came rather naturally.

"Listen to me," Anakin said his voice a mixture of pain and forcefulness. "This isn't something I can let happen. I haven't really been truthful with all that I've seen."

There was more that threatened to bubble from Anakin, but he was holding it back, trying to spare Obi-wan from whatever pain he thought it might bring to his former master. Obi-wan was strong though. Stronger then he had ever hoped he could be when he was faced with a young child to train and master who wasn't even cold from the grips of death. That strength was what was keeping him alive now. Keeping him putting one foot in front of the other and not turning back to feel sorry for himself. Teaching him not to hide from the truth and what it inevitably brought with it.

"Then tell me," Obi-wan said. He was tired of having to pry everything from Anakin. He should be more open with the one person in his life who really listened. The one person who really cared what he was feeling. Other jedi may throw it off, but Obi-wan cared what was going on with Anakin. How could he not? They were closer than any two people could be. They lived together and trained together and ate together. They were one.

"Master," Anakin started his voice wavering in the darkness. "I think I do that to you. I think I'm the one who kills you."

The shock was evident on Obi-wan's face even in the pitch black of the room. No. Anakin couldn't be responsible for what would happen to him. It wasn't possible. He felt a shiver of cold wave over his body and the hair on his arms stood on end. Maybe he hadn't heard what Anakin said correctly.

"I don't think I heard you," Obi-wan said his voice almost a whisper. The tension in the room roiled as he felt Anakin lean closer to him.

"It's me," Anakin said in a whisper that matched Obi-wan's. "I will do it."

Obi-wan was off the bed before he could think. His eyes were blinded by something he hadn't experienced in a very long time, fear. How could the person that he had poured all of his time and effort into be the one who struck him down? How could that be? Why would the force play such a cruel joke on him?

"Master," Anakin called after him as Obi-wan sought a place where he felt like he could breathe again. Where this weight would be lifted from his chest, but nowhere could he find a reprieve.

And then arms were around him, stopping his blind movements about the small tree house. They were strong and beckoning him to let it go. Stop the madness and feel whatever he wanted to feel. That was when Obi-wan broke from the jedi he had always been, to a man who really did feel.


	7. I Am A Master

_It has been awhile since I updated this story. Finally, inspiration has come back and things have calmed down enough for me to continue writing. Thanks for the patience. I appreciate all the comments I receive and read each and every one of them. This story is heading towards battle, which is not my favorite thing to write, but I'm stretching myself this year and working on things that aren't always easy for me. I'm still character driven so I hope I can do them justice in the next few chapters._

**- I Am A Master -**

Obi-wan had risen early in the morning, leaving behind the small bed that he had shared with Anakin in the night. They had spent the night in each other's arms and company because neither wanted to be alone in the darkness with the knowledge of what had been spoken between them. Something though had been tripped inside of Obi-wan, a feeling that he wanted to block out. Maybe he wanted more from Anakin than just to be together as padawan and master.

As Anakin's master, Obi-wan should've known better than to be so vulnerable and let Anakin know that he truly was feeling scared about his impending death. It was his job to be strong and tell him that it was okay to go and be with the force. Obi-wan wanted to be the one who guided their path and didn't mire them down in this situation. Now he didn't feel like he was that strong. Obi-wan felt as though he was the quaking teenager who had held his master as he died and that wasn't the person he needed to be for Anakin.

He stood still, looking out as the gas giant was breaking over the horizon. The orange glow filling the trees with light which reflected off the glass in the treehouses' windows and off of Obi-wan's eyes. If only Obi-wan could think of something besides what Anakin had confessed to him and the way he was feeling about his padawan. If only there was a way to erase that from his mind, but there wasn't. It was something Obi-wan would have to deal with and let the force go on the path that it had predestined, even if it meant he would die.

He was unable to control everything and he knew it, but he didn't have to like it.

"You're up early," Anakin's voice said from behind him, talking in a very subdued voice, which was unusual for the padawan.

Obi-wan nodded, afraid of what his voice might do should he speak in Anakin's presence. There was so much he wanted to say and so much he knew that he shouldn't even let escape his lips. Maybe he had said too much already and that was the problem. The relationship between padawan and master should not be as open as Obi-wan had been last night. It was inexcusable and he would have to punish himself for it later.

"Not talking to me?" Anakin asked again in a thick voice which indicated the hurt that his padawan felt. Obi-wan could feel the irritation rise in Anakin's signature in the force and knew that he was turning to leave, but he didn't want Anakin to leave. That, in fact, was the opposite of what he wanted. He knew that he shouldn't want Anakin to stay like that, but he did.

"I'm talking to you," Obi-wan said, his voice unsteady at first, but returning to its normal calm and reassuring sound. Somehow he found strength inside of himself and the force.

"Look," his padawan said in a rush. "Do you want me to take back what happened between us? Well I don't want to Obi-wan. It's what I wanted. It's what I needed and I'm not afraid to admit it, but I know that you are."

Obi-wan turned from the sunrise and looked at Anakin. This time, he really looked at what his padawan was and had become. Anakin was no longer the child he had raised. He was a young man who had grown much taller than Obi-wan. He was so much more than just a jedi and the chosen one. Anakin felt in a way that most jedi, including Obi-wan, kept buried deep inside. He let it out without restraint and sometimes without thought of what would happen. Obi-wan was jealous of his ability to love without question and feel without shame because sometimes he thought it would be easier to be that way.

Had Obi-wan always just seen what he wanted to see in Anakin and not what everyone had always seen? Was he now seeing what Anakin really was and what he really wanted from him? Obi-wan shook his head trying to clear it. It was no use.

"Anakin this isn't about changing what happened between us. It was nothing that you did wrong, but it I should've known better," Obi-wan started and then stopped rubbing the palm of his hand against his head in frustration. "This is about what I shouldn't be talking with you about and things that are very inappropriate for us."

"What?" Anakin asked pointing back towards the room where they had slept. "I've slept in the same bed with you a million times. What makes this time different? You're my master."

"Exactly."

"I don't understand. I've shared your bed on numerous trips and when I've had bad dreams. You've never acted this way before."

"I have let my guard down and that is what makes the difference. I should not let you know personal things about be that compromise our relationship because our relationship should be a working one. I should know better and I apologize."

Anakin eyed him and then raised his eyebrows in understanding. It was as though a glow panel turned on in the younger jedi's mind.

"This isn't about me, is it master? It's about you and your feelings," the younger jedi said as it dawned on him and a smug smile started to spread across his lips.

"What are you talking about?" Obi-wan spit at him, hurt that Anakin thought less of him, but also knowing that he had been found out.

"But..." Anakin stopped and then looked at Obi-wan as though he was putting pieces together in his mind. "I'm not your type, am I?"

Obi-wan covered his face with his hands. Had he been so transparent in the past few days? Had he really given away every secret that he thought he had locked safe inside of his own mind?

"Wait," Anakin said backing away like he'd been struck by a speeding air taxi. When his back met the wall he stopped and looked at Obi-wan again.

If there was a time in the older jedi's life when he wanted to crawl away and disappear into the force, it was now. The look on Anakin's face told the whole story and Obi-wan didn't know how he would ever get out of this.

"It's not like that Anakin," he finally said trying to repair whatever he had destroyed in the past two minutes. "This is born of something completely different. Sometimes, when people serve together and are wounded, there becomes a bond which some would say is sexual. Don't worry...I would never act on feelings for you, even if they weren't born out of a shared experience under duress."

"I just never thought I would be the apple of your eye master," Anakin said crossing his arms over his chest in a defiant yet smug way. Obi-wan thought that Anakin was enjoying this just way too much.

"Don't act like you're so happy to have something to hang over my head," Obi-wan said and crossed his arms over his chest.

"It's not that I have something over you," Anakin said winking. "I'm just glad you finally came around."

"What?" Obi-wan asked looking at Anakin with surprise on his face. Wasn't he supposed to be the one with the deep dark secret? Why was Anakin always one upping him?

"You heard me."

"You can't tell me this Anakin. I don't want to know. It'll only compromise what we have as master and padawan."

"Then my lips are sealed," Anakin said and locked his lips with a little gesture and then acted as though he threw away the key. Obi-wan rolled his eyes and then turned back to look at the sunrise.

"It won't do any good to deny it though," Anakin said before turning to go back into the house.

No it wouldn't do any good to deny it, but it would make Obi-wan feel better. If he could just hold on until they were back in service. There would be other things to occupy their time and he wouldn't have to worry about all these feelings that were inside of him. He could just deny it forever.

Anakin though would make it rather difficult to do that and would grin the whole time he was giving Obi-wan a hard time. Oh, this was going to be unbearable.


	8. Into the War

**Into the War**

Obi-wan felt the hum of the cruiser under his booted feet. The armor, which had been issued to the jedi, still felt raw against his skin. He didn't like the way it felt and wished to have back his regular set of tunics, but they had been tucked away in his quarters, awaiting the day when he would return to Coruscant and resume his assignment as a peacekeeper and not a general.

The starlines of hyperspace stretched out through the viewscreens as Obi-wan's mind wandered to the Sanctuary Moon where he and his padawan had spent several weeks on leave. What he wouldn't give for peace and quiet now. It was too bad they had to leave and come back to this war. The implications for the jedi were staggering. Now they were the muscles of the Republic and it didn't sit right with Obi-wan.

"Whatcha doing?" Anakin asked from beside him. Obi-wan had not been paying much attention to what was going on around him and his padawan had used the element of surprise. Obi-wan would have to talk to him about sneaking up on him, but that would have to be later. They were heading into battle at the moment.

The master felt every muscle in his body contracted as he thought about the impending fight. Anakin seemed to feel more at ease with what they were about to do, but Obi-wan didn't feel like this was what he was meant to be doing. It would be a struggle that he would have to contend with for the rest of the war.

"I'm considering what we are about to do," Obi-wan said letting his hand wander to his chin and rub his beard. A smile spread across his face as he thought of Qui-gon and the way his own master had done the same thing.

"This will be an easy run," Anakin said easily as though he had already seen the outcome of the battle.

"Nothing about this is easy, Anakin. Nothing. It's something that I've been dreading ever since I boarded this ship."

"Don't worry. I've always got your back."

"That is what I'm afraid of at the moment."

Anakin laughed easily and placed his mechanical hand on Obi-wan's shoulder, giving it a little squeeze of friendship. Although Obi-wan was sure that it was more than just friendship. Anakin hadn't let him forget that he knew his secret and had been taunting him in private since they had gotten into space.

"I'm going to go down and get the clone troopers ready," Anakin said and turned to leave. "You want to come down and talk to the troops."

Obi-wan shook his head no and then returned to looking out the viewport. Anakin left quietly. Although his absence made something inside of Obi-wan ache. It was like there was a hole inside of him when that bright shining signature in the force wasn't around.

**...**

Roughly he pulled the armor from his body and stripped down to his shorts. They had spent the whole day mopping up on the planet and Obi-wan felt that he was covered in grime from head to toe. All he had wanted to do was get back to his quarters and get in the shower and clean off.

Anakin swaggered into the quarters they were currently sharing, mud smeared across his face from where he had been wiping away the sweat, Obi-wan thought. The war had changed the demeanor of his padawan, giving him more confidence in his ability to lead and his abilities with the force. Obi-wan wanted to remind him that pride always goes before the fall, but held his tongue. Jedi learned things through mistakes. He just hoped that mistake wasn't killing Obi-wan.

"Well I see that I'll be waiting for the shower," Anakin said winking at his master as he sat down on his cot and started pulling his mud encrusted boots off his feet.

"I won't be long," Obi-wan said grabbing his towel and heading into the very small refresher. It was almost too tight to even turn around in. There was a small shower, a sink and a toilet. If you turned around, you might bump your backside on the other wall.

"You better not be," Anakin called after him.

Jumping into the shower, Obi-wan wanted to stand there and just let the water pour over him, but when there was someone else waiting, it just wasn't the right thing to do. Quickly he soaped up his hair and then began washing the dirt and sweat from his body.

Suddenly the door opened and Obi-wan saw Anakin through the steamy door of the shower.

"Not done yet," Obi-wan called out over the sound of the shower.

"Let's conserve water," Anakin said and opened the door, popping his head into the shower where his master stood soapy and wet.

"I don't think that is appropriate," Obi-wan said trying to cover himself from the prying eyes of Anakin although he knew the young man could see anything he wanted in his imagination.

"What? It's good for the water supply. We are on a ship," Anakin said raising and eyebrow of what Obi-wan thought might be approval at his master.

"I know where we are, but this just is not right."

"Live a little. I'm lonely, you're lonely. Well we could be not lonely together."

"OUT!"

The door snapped shut and Obi-wan was sure that he heard Anakin cursing in Huttese as he left the refresher. Whatever was on his padawan's mind, Obi-wan didn't want to know. There were just things that were forbidden. It didn't matter how they felt. It didn't matter what the body desired, but it did matter what had to be done to serve the force correctly. He was sure that he had taught his student much better, but it seemed that there was another lesson that he needed to give him.

Finishing up quickly, Obi-wan dried and then wrapped the towel around his waist and went out into the main sleeping area of the cabin. To call it a sleeping area was rather a stretch of the imagination. There were two cots, one on top the other and a small computer terminal for the occupants to access information vital to strategic planning. They were in rather close quarters to say the least. It now made Obi-wan rather uncomfortable that there was no where to go.

"I'm sorry," Anakin said holding up a hand before Obi-wan could lecture him. Although he was sure that Anakin would just shrug off the lecture anyway, Obi-wan made sure to give a slightly disapproving look.

"I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable," the younger jedi said and he stood there with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. "There are just these feelings that I'm trying to work out. I know that you probably don't understand..."

"I do," Obi-wan admitted. Anakin stopped and looked at his master.

"Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not. I've felt these things before."

"Before?"

The astonishment of his padawan's voice was not lost on him. Obi-wan sighed and sat down on the lower bunk, his bunk, and rubbed a hand over his face. The story wasn't one that he had shared with anyone but Qui-gon. It had been very personal and it wasn't something that you discussed with others. It still twisted his heart when he thought about it, but maybe telling Anakin would be helpful for the young man's feelings. To know that another felt the same things, might ease his distress just a bit.

"You know that I'm rather close with Quinlan Vos," Obi-wan started slowly trying to judge what his padawan was thinking behind those blue eyes. He didn't feel like being judged, but this was important to share.

"Well that closeness is born of a relationship that we had as teenagers. I know that it probably comes as a shock, but we carried on together for many months, but his master and my master put an end to it with heartbreaking results for both of us."

Obi-wan sighed and looked at Anakin who stood there with a rather mild expression on his face. He didn't look surprised or upset, he just looked. It sent a shiver up Obi-wan's spine.

"Say something," he finally said the younger man and stood from the bunk, almost bumping his head on the top bunk. There was a need in his heart to hear what Anakin had to say about the relationship.

"You had sex with him?" Anakin asked in a very blunt way.

"Of course," Obi-wan said putting his hands on his hips exasperated that this was the only thing Anakin could think to ask. Obi-wan had just shown a very secret part of himself. It was still a very raw place for him.

"Did you love him?"

"Jedi do not love, but you could say that there will always be a place in my heart for him. I know that it was just teenage love now, but I can understand what you are feeling."

"I don't think what I feel is teenage love," Anakin said rather sternly.

"I didn't mean it like that, but you have to know it will end in heartbreak."

"I'm willing to take the chance."

"But I'm not Anakin. I don't want to jeopardize our master and padawan relationship."


	9. Hurt

**Hurt**

Obi-wan couldn't do anything but lay where he was and try to hold the pain away for just another minute. Blasted droids! He hadn't seen the one that shot him in the leg and now his leg was shattered and bleeding heavily. He had called for a medic, but they were all busy caring for those in their vicinity. They would work their way towards him, but Obi-wan would just have to wait and the wait was killing him.

"They are headed this way," Cody said bending down to speak over the sound of the continuing battle. Obi-wan nodded at him, but the grimace on his face surely gave away the fact that he was in terrible pain. He just had to hold it a bit longer or so he was telling himself.

"Anakin," Obi-wan managed to squeak out from between dry and cracked lips. He wanted to make sure that Anakin was okay and that he hadn't suffered a fate far worse.

"Don't worry, sir," Cody said patting Obi-wan on the shoulder. "He has been informed, but he is tied down in the valley."

Obi-wan groaned and he wasn't sure if it was from the pain or from the fact that Anakin was tied down and needed his help. He should be up and helping fight, not feeling sorry for himself.

The medic swooped in quickly and was busily working on Obi-wan's leg. He was thankful that the medic had come so that he could release the pain. It also helped that he got several injections of pain medication. He felt his head starting to swim a bit.

"He's ready to transport," the medic said placing a tag on Obi-wan's forehead. It was how they marked the wounded on the battlefield so that they would know which patients were priority and which could wait just a little while longer.

"How long?" Obi-wan heard Cody ask. The clone was good, he hadn't left Obi-wan's side since he had been injured. That was dedication.

"He's second wave," the medic said packing things up again and rushing off to yet another person who was in need.

"Go help," Obi-wan said patting Cody on the forearm. He was starting to feel drowsy and was sure that he was safe. There was no reason to keep an able bodied clone here when he could be helping to clean out some droids and perhaps shorten the fight.

…

Anakin was running at top speed through the hallway of the makeshift hospital. The Republic was getting so good at putting these structures together in mere hours to help address the wounded on the ground before transporting those who survived back to the ship. It was a marvel and very sickening in the same thought.

"Slow down," Cody said from behind, chasing him towards his destination. Anakin didn't heed the call and continued to run towards where Obi-wan was still in surgery.

"They aren't going to let you in anyway," Cody called as Anakin was almost out of earshot.

Anakin didn't care because he needed to be where his master was and that was in surgery somewhere in the twists and turns of the medical facility. He could feel Obi-wan just out of his reach, just on the brink of consciousness. Somewhere he was going to be waking up and Anakin wanted to make sure that he was there. He had to be there.

…

"Awake?" Anakin asked leaning over the bed and smiling at Obi-wan.

"Barely," Obi-wan said weakly. It was hard to even form the words with his lips feeling as strange as they did. He had been warned that he would feel strange, but this was very strange indeed.

"Well I'll take barely after the scare you gave me," Anakin laughed. It had been a jarring experience to hear that Obi-wan had been shot. The only thing he could do was fight harder so that he was done and could get back to Obi-wan as quickly as possible. The force had guided his hands so that he could finish what he had started and finish it quickly.

Obi-wan chuckled and reached up and tussled Anakin's hair, rather weakly, but it was still an expression of affection to his padawan. The grin on Anakin's face was all the reward that he needed at that moment. It felt good to have someone there who was worried about him. Normally it would be just the opposite and he would be the one worrying about Anakin after some crazy stunt that he pulled.

"How long until I'm out of here?" Obi-wan asked.

"Well," Anakin said clearing his throat. "That's the thing. You aren't gonna be out of here for a very long time. It seems that there was a contaminated batch of bacta and you are going to have to wait until a supply line can be secured to ship more in."

"WHAT?!" Obi-wan asked, his voice louder then he intended it to be.

"You are in line for the tank, but the tank is not operational at the moment. They are saying at least two weeks, but that is just an estimate depending on how many more men are found to be wounded. They are still clearing the field."

"I don't want to stay here."

"I thought you would say that and I've secured the doctor's permission to return you to the ship, but you will be under my care."

Obi-wan rolled his eyes. Anakin was sure to be gloating over this for years to come. He saves your life a couple times and you never hear the end of it, this would just be pure torture.

"Other options?" Obi-wan asked a smile cracking his face.

"Oh, there are no other options. I'm all you've got," Anakin said chuckling.

"Why do I think I'm going to regret this?"

"Because you always seem to and I can't understand why you don't trust me."

….

Obi-wan had barely been lucid when he was transferred onto his cot in the room he shared with Anakin. The pain medication was a blessing. It kept him from worrying and made sure that he slept through all the injustices that he was sure Anakin was committing.

Today though, Obi-wan was rather awake and he couldn't understand why, but he sat at the head of his bed, propped up on pillows and watched as Anakin tooled around the room.

"Need anything?" Anakin asked as he piled several pads together on the desk and then moved them again when he didn't really like where they were.

"I'm fine," Obi-wan said not wanting to bother Anakin. "I could look over some of those technical reports though and status updates."

"Yeah," Anakin said turning and putting his hands on his hips and scolding Obi-wan like he was a child. "Nice try, but you aren't supposed to be doing anything that has to do with the war. They aren't sure your mind is quite right yet. I mean I could've told them that, but you know they don't listen to me. They think I'm the one that is a little off."

Obi-wan was taken aback by this different Anakin. He hated to think about it, but maybe war agreed with Anakin. That was something that a jedi should never feel. It was a rather serious thing to think about. How do you wield such power, but still remain a peaceful being. It was something Obi-wan struggled with daily. He was sure Anakin struggled with it every single minute because that was just the type of person Anakin had always been.

"You are rather happy today," Obi-wan said looking at Anakin with that look that was reserved for a padawan who was doing something incorrectly and needed some correction.

"Master," Anakin said flopping into one of the chairs. "It's nothing."

"I think it's something."

"I don't want to talk about it. You are too injured to have to worry about me."

"What is wrong?"

"Well, for the first time ever, I'm enjoying being a jedi. Is that so bad?"

Obi-wan shook his head no. It wasn't bad that Anakin liked being a jedi. Sometimes it just took some time to really find your place in the order, but Obi-wan still felt that it was for a far different reason.

"It's not bad," Obi-wan started off saying. "It's just that I want it to be for the right reasons. Maybe you find a different path in the force or something that really enlightens you. I don't want it to be that you wield your lightsaber leading troops into battle."

"Inner peace is sometimes elusive," Anakin said sighing. "You know that. I haven't had that kind of peace in my life."

"That's what I'm afraid of hearing from you. I want to make sure that you have the kind of peace you should have," Obi-wan said putting on his best master voice. He hadn't used it in awhile and he found that he was getting a bit rusty with the whole thing. He was sure that he would get the hang of it again soon.

"Don't lecture me while I'm taking care of you," Anakin said shaking his head.

"Then would be the appropriate time?" Obi-wan asked and crossed his arms over his chest. Anakin sighed and leaned forward, placing his head in his hands. Maybe Obi-wan should've thought about what he was saying. Anakin was just trying to be open with him and he wanted to make sure that the openness continued. Obi-wan had found that Anakin was rather difficult to read sometimes and having him actually speak freely was a rather different take on their relationship. Maybe he should just relax.

"I'm sorry," Obi-wan said uncrossing his arms. "I want you to feel free to talk to me and perhaps I've been a bit too judgemental."

Anakin looked up at Obi-wan with a softening of his features. Obi-wan knew that he could put on a very tough exterior and sometimes it he couldn't get through it, but somehow, with this mere apology, Obi-wan had reached Anakin.

"How's the leg?" Anakin finally asked rising from the chair and coming to sit on the edge of the cot. He lifted the blanket to peer at the bandages which covered the wounds on Obi-wan's leg.

"It hurts, but the medication helps to dull the pain," Obi-wan admitted. "Wish I would've seen that droid."

"You can't see everything," Anakin said replacing the blanket gently on Obi-wan's leg. "We aren't all knowing."

"Shouldn't we be though?" Obi-wan asked genuinely. There were many questions that jedi faced along their journey. Most would think that as a master, Obi-wan would know the answers to most of them, but it was just the opposite. The more he learned about the force, the more questions he had about what it truly meant to be a jedi. The war didn't help either.

It raised all kinds of questions about the role of a jedi should be in a military state or in action against another group of people.

"Peacekeepers," Obi-wan said aloud. "That is what we are meant to be. It's what the force intended for us. With this type of power, we have to be careful just how we wield it when dealing with others."

"True," Anakin said looking at Obi-wan. The look made him a bit uncomfortable. "But also we have to defend those who cannot and chose not to defend themselves from the pain and suffering of an unjust group of beings."

Anakin knew what to say, Obi-wan thought, but did he really believe in the tenants he had been taught over the years he had been in the temple. Regurgitation wasn't something Obi-wan was interested in at the moment. He really wanted to know how Anakin felt about what they were going through.

"Do you ever thing that the force has plans for you?" Anakin asked leaning closer to Obi-wan as he spoke.

"Yes," Obi-wan said raising his eyebrows. "It has a path for all of us to follow. You just have to listen to it and find out what you are destined for."

"I'm destined to kill you," Anakin said.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Obi-wan asked.

"I'm not sure."


	10. Healing

**Healing**

Obi-wan had been placed in bacta for two days after his leg was re-broken and set so that it would heal strongly. The pain of the re-break was something that he hoped he would be able to forget, but he knew it would always be seared in his mind.

"Phantom pain," Anakin said as he watch Obi-wan rubbing the healed leg.

"What?" Obi-wan asked, snapped away from his thoughts by Anakin's voice.

"It will pass in time," Anakin said rising from the chair and sitting on the small cot with Obi-wan. Anakin moved his master's hands away and started to rub the spot where Obi-wan's leg had been injured. "Better?"

He nodded and laid back on the cot letting Anakin rub his calf. Obi-wan knew that the younger jedi knew all about being injured and the pain associated with it. He was sure that Anakin would always remember the pain of the Dooku's lightsaber cutting through his flesh. The master jedi was sure that the pain he was experiencing now was nothing compared to that anguish.

"Thank you," Obi-wan sighed and let the tension fall away from his body as Anakin continued to rub the spot which felt like it was still on fire.

Anakin had been away for several days while Obi-wan had been in the bacta tank. He wasn't sure what the younger jedi's assignment had been, but his grim demeanor was indication that it didn't go as well as planned. Anakin was under strict orders not to talk to Obi-wan about the war and what was happening. The older jedi would be returned to service soon enough and he would be updated at that time. The council wanted him to concentrate on healing for the time being.

"Things not go well?" he asked looking at Anakin who was looking off into the distance with eyes that seemed to see, but not something in the room. He was evidently replaying the scenario over in his mind of what had happened.

"They could've been better," Anakin said not committing to anything. His hands moved up Obi-wan's leg to his thigh and continued rubbing. Although the jedi master didn't hurt there, it still helped to relieve the tension in the leg, which he had been babying for such a long time.

"You want to tell me?"

"No."

Obi-wan grimaced at Anakin and sighed loudly. "I would tell you," Obi-wan said and crossed his arms over his chest as though he was a roles of master and apprentice seemed to have become reversed since Obi-wan had been injured.

"Wait," Anakin said stopping to look at Obi-wan. "Weren't you the one who was saying there were some lines we shouldn't cross as master and padawan?"

"Yes, I'm the master asking you, the padawan, to tell me more," he said and looked at Anakin. It seemed like ages ago when they were alone on the Sanctuary Moon and Obi-wan had said things that maybe he shouldn't have at the time. He felt as though he had been a different person altogether at that time,he had felt so connected to the force and to his padawan. It was too bad that war had taken that from them so quickly.

"I'm sorry _**master **_but the council doesn't want anything to interrupt your healing," Anakin said and smiled at him. "I mean I have to follow their orders."

Obi-wan snorted at the idea of his padawan following anyone's orders let alone a suggestion. He especially hated when the council had some sort of edict to hand down to him. The older jedi knew far too well that Anakin was just trying to make Obi-wan pay for what had transpired between them before.

"Fine," Obi-wan finally said laying back on the cot again. "Do as you think you should."

He laid there and let Anakin continue to rub his leg, content with someone taking care of him, but upset that Anakin didn't want to share more with him. He knew there had to be a line between them, but why wouldn't he talk more about what was happening in the war and not leave Obi-wan wanting for knowledge about the troops and tactics of the council.

"_Wanting_?" Anakin asked into the silence. Obi-wan gasped remembering that with the powerful connection between them, Anakin had a fast track to what he was thinking. He could not afford to leave his guard down like this, but he was just going to remember to pull his guard now, he was just going to have to explain what he meant.

"Stay out of my mind," Obi-wan said pointing an index finger at Anakin and smiling a playful smile. It was a habit for him to always be a master and always teach Anakin through life lessons. It was his job to impart all of his knowledge to Anakin along the path of their life together for as long as they were to be master and padawan. Now was as good a time as any to remind Anakin that someone's mind was their own and to stay out of thoughts that were not his. Jedi had to learn their boundaries very early on. The temple abounded with thoughts from so many different individuals that it was sometimes hard to think of a time when you couldn't hear another's mind.

"You were broadcasting it to me," Anakin said. "It's not like I had to dig around and try to find it. You made it too easy!"

"Still," Obi-wan said. "My thoughts are my thoughts and yours are yours. I only really use that connection when we are fighting. That is what it was meant to be used for."

"That's what you say it was meant for," Anakin said his eyes following his hand as he massaged further up Obi-wan's thigh. "I say that it keeps us balanced and really could be used for other things."

Obi-wan forgot how the darkness threatened to step through the threshold of Anakin's soul at any moment. He knew that his padawan was always in a precarious position when it came to dark and light. Obi-wan had to be careful what he was going to say. He never wanted to cut Anakin off completely, but there were some things that needed to be private for his own sake.

"What kind of other things?" Obi-wan asked enjoying the massage and noting that the phantom pain was starting to dissipate from his leg. The older jedi was thankful for the respite.

"We have the ability to communicate in a way that others can only imagine," Anakin said thoughtfully. "Why shouldn't we use it to our advantage?"

Obi-wan touched Anakin's hand briefly and sighed. "Show me," he finally said.

Anakin's eyes brightened and he released Obi-wan's leg. Moving closer to Obi-wan on the cot, Anakin reached up and placed his hand on the older jedi's heart. As if an unspoken command had been given, Obi-wan reached across and placed his hand on Anakin's heart and closed his eyes. Their breathing became synchronized and together they sank into the depths of the force. They were one here, working together towards a common goal. Obi-wan was calm and protected in the force's warm embrace. How he had missed this calmness in the past few weeks. Being hurt had been the only thing he could focus on during those weeks.

Obi-wan followed Anakin through in the force and together they stood in front of a large door. It was made of polished wood and stood gleaming with light that Obi-wan believed glowed with the essence of what the force was made up of, but he could not be sure. Things were different in the realm of the force and everything looked different to each individual.

_This is what I'm talking about_ Anakin said through their bond.

_You've been here before?_ Obi-wan asked in return.

_Many times._

_Alone?_

_Always_

The doors parted and Anakin walked into the glowing light of the room beyond. Obi-wan followed him and they were now standing in a stark white room and there was nothing inside, just four stark white polished walls that seemed to close in, yet stretch for infinity.

_This is a place where we can communicate without speaking. If we both picture this room through the force, we will always be able to find each other. _Anakin explained. _Here we will be able to speak with each other no matter the distance and space between us. Something that has been impossible for most jedi, until now._

Obi-wan felt himself nodding his head as Anakin explained. It was very strange for the physical body to be in one place, but the spiritual body to be elsewhere. As a jedi, Obi-wan spent many years learning to reconcile these feelings and wasn't sure even now that he was all that used to it.

_No matter where you are_ Anakin said wordlessly, yet with words, _I will find you._

Obi-wan was taken for a split second at what Anakin had said. It was more of a demanding promise rather than a mere statement by Anakin. It made the older jedi feel a bit uncomfortable as if Anakin were trying to possess him from the inside out, starting with his mind.

_Stop Anakin,_ Obi-wan said through the bond, but he wasn't really sure that he wanted the younger jedi to stop. Something, deep in Obi-wan's soul really wanted to feel that he was possessed of another being. To have that kind of relationship that he had taken so prematurely from him with Quinlan and to have it with Anakin. Obi-wan grimaced at the thought.

Those thoughts though, were something that he couldn't give into, even if he wanted to with every cell in his body. They were thoughts a jedi should never have, especially for one that was so close to him. Possessions were forbidden and Anakin knew it, but Obi-wan knew as well that Anakin was not always one to follow the code. Obi-wan had to be the strong one here. He had to show Anakin that some things were just too far away from the code to even be discussed.

_What are you afraid of?_ the younger jedi asked flippantly, the tone of his words somehow very sultry and dark all at once. _Maybe you fear that you will like what I have to offer more than a jedi should. You shouldn't fear such things, master. _

_Stop!_

_You don't want me to stop, do you?_

_Stop!_

Obi-wan felt Anakin's hand move from his chest and start to caress his cheek. He tried to back away and opened his eyes, snapping himself from the world of the force. Anakin was closer on the cot than Obi-wan had remembered him being before they entered into meditation and there was no where the older jedi could escape to. He was trapped.

"Stop," Obi-wan said out loud. Anakin just shook his head no, letting his hand linger behind Obi-wan's neck and his thumb caress the older jedi's cheek. They were so close now that he could feel Anakin's breath on his face. "We can't."

"You can't," Anakin said thickly and darkly moving closer to Obi-wan. "I can."

Their lips met and the world felt like it was tilting under Obi-wan. He reached a hand up to Anakin's should, grasping it to try and hold on.


End file.
